The picture above was taken in 2018’s album release party for Ambivert.
For the past 2 years I’ve ushered in Virgo Szn (the only “szn” that counts) with an album release party. Some of ya’ll have attended. And all of ya’ll who have attended know that I throw a good party. I’ve been writing, yes, and I have enough material to release two albums if I wanted to, but that’s beside the point (as if I’m going to actually drop the music anyway). The album release parties of years past served two purposes. Admittedly, one of those purposes was to stroke my own ego–to prove to myself (and others) that I can organize these types of events, perhaps even to showcase my deep network and competency within the creative space. More importantly, the other purpose was to connect people by avenue (or the excuse) of my music. You wouldn’t imagine how many “mini-reunions” occur at these events, but I suppose that’s a normal byproduct of having a large circle of acquaintances and very few close friends. Ambivalence to the levels and definition of “friendship” is a byproduct of social nomadism, but again, I digress. The first album release party was called Ambivert, after all. aHa ha..
Luckily I managed to squeeze in an album release party this year, pre-COVID era sanctioning. This was accomplished alone and with no help this time around through an emotional fit of inspiration, a catalyst that insured progress for months to come. But here we are, August of 2020, and while historically I’d be frantically sending out emails, invitations, and DMs, I’m…chilling.
And this feels nice.
I realize how much stress I put myself through. I realize how much stress I put others around me through when I was neck deep in the planning of the first two album release parties. I realize how much money I’m saving for not having one this summer. I realize that the elation I feel when I see friends and fans bob to my head in real life is the same feeling I get when I receive DMs from people telling me that my new song “issa bop” or that in some form, my music “changed their life.”
But would I do it again?
In a heartbeat.
I’m still that dude. I’m still motivated as fuck. I still have so many songs in me to write. And as long as I’m living, as long as there’s life to live, I’ll be out here writing about it. I’ll spread myself too thin and reach for the stars. I’ll catch feelings and lose them. I’ll have moments of triumph, and several more failures. I’ll love and lose, and I’ll do it again. And for anyone who has read this far, I’ll accomplish everything I’ve set off to do. Just look at my track record.
I fucking never miss.
I’m writing this at 3:15am at work. It’s a slow night. Initially this would’ve been one of those somber blog posts. But as egotistical as this post may come across, fuck it. Virgo szn baby. Let’s get it.